forever swaner family: Daddy, How Was I Born?

Monday, January 14, 2008

Daddy, How Was I Born?

So I'm not one to share jokes very often...mostly because I forget the punchline. But here's one I want to pass along. I thought it was so funny, since Derrick and I are BY FAR the least of the Swaner 'techno geeks'. Derrick's brothers, Shawn and David are much more technologically savy than Derrick. My family, on the other hand, tends to lean far to the side of 'technically challenged'...but I'm not naming any names...ROBIN! Anyways, just wanted to pass on a little laugh! Here goes...

A modern version of the stork...

Little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

"As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said:

"You've Got Male! (or possibly Female!)

Pretty funny...but now for the REAL punchline...

WE'VE GOT MALE, OR POSSIBLY FEMALE
EXPECTED TO ARRIVE AROUND THE 1ST OF SEPTEMBER!

Hopefully I didn't mess up that punchline! Just in case, we're happy to announce that 'The Swaner Six' will soon be 'The Swaner Seven'!

On my side of the family, there will be 4 new little cousins in 2008...and one more that was born on the 31st of December, 2007. Yu know, God did command us to multiply and replenish the earth, and apparently the Moser family is taking it completely upon ourselves to accomplish this task!

6 comments:

Unknown said...: Sounds good to me! Sign me up for baby kissing duty!; January 15, 2008 at 6:19 AM
Jen Merrill said...: i love the joke and even more i love the idea of a 'swaner seven' instead of six. congratulations! sounds like itll be raining babies in the moser family next year...; January 15, 2008 at 10:48 AM
Vanessa said...: Congratulations! That's super exciting and fun for you. I will never catch up . . .; January 15, 2008 at 8:57 PM
Leslie said...: YEA! Congratulations Kelli! That is awesome! I hope you have a great pregnancy! :) I will pass the word along here in Vegas!! (ha ha); January 16, 2008 at 12:40 PM
jennaloha said...: Honestly I liked it better when all my friends were at four and holding.; January 21, 2008 at 8:29 AM
Anonymous said...: Oh that was a cut way to announce the "Swaner sixth"!!!; February 5, 2008 at 11:47 AM

Crazy Things Our Kids Say

'Mom, Desmond needs to be changed. He smells like a waffle'. -myah- I've heard all sorts of descriptions, but never a WAFFLE!
'Mommy, How come all of our prophets names start with "President"?' Myah
'Mom, baby boys are special too'. Myah's words of encouragement shortly following the boy ultrasound. Thanks Myah!
When talking about what to grow in our garden this summer, Skyler said, 'Oh, I know...let's grow more zuccini so we can have more pickles!' Pretty funny coming from a really smart kid!
'Mommy, I want my armpits to look like yours, with all the black pokey things in them!' Yep, that's Myah!
'...Thank you for Santa Clause...and thank you for his reindeer.' Myah's prayers last night
'Daddy...You smell like Grandpa!' (Myah) Derrick has picked up a new second job, working with my dad doing sheet metal construction...aka 'manual labor', and apparently, he's starting to smell like hard work!
'When I grow up, I want to be....A MOMMY!' Myah
"But sleeping makes me tired!" Never heard this excuse for a later bedtime before!
'How does my water turn into pee?' Myah
'My eyeballs are melting!' Myah...We built a fire for fhe and made smores...apparently it was pretty hot!
'Can I pet the baby?' I was babysitting for a friend the other day, and Myah was so happy to have a baby around!

Quotable Quotes

'Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a Gift. That's why it's called the Present' -kung fu panda...master uguay
"The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude." William James (borrowed from Katie)
"As long as it stays outside" -my grandpa joe- let me explain this one, he was a farmer and was referring to the problems and trials we have. I interpret this to mean that as long as we don't let them into our homes and our families, it's all good!
"Remember, a good attitude produces good results, a fair attitude fair results, a poor attitude poor results. We each shape our own life, and the shape of it is determined largely by our attitude." Jeffrey R. Holland

Hmmmm....

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today!'

So she did, and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

'H-M-M,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today!'

So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.'So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.'

YEA!' she exclaimed, 'I don't have to fix my hair today!'

Attitude is everything. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Derrick

Derrick goes by many names around here, including Honey, Big Fatty (only when Zac is really mad or really tired), Babe, Appocolypse (his wrestling alias), Abomination (another wrestling foe),...but my definite favorite...Daddy (or Dad as the big kids say). I also think that to everyone in our home, Derrick is considered a great friend. He has a talent for turning those tense moments into funny and lighthearted memory makers. I guess that he is the perfect balance for me, since I have a hard time letting go of my 'schedule' and just having fun!
The man of our house stays very busy with work, play, more work, and a little more play! He still works as part of a management team of an imaging center, where he also does nuclear medicine, ct, x-ray, and lab work. When he's home, he acts as teacher, barbeque king, friend, companion, tutor, priesthood holder, elders quorum president, bedtime tucker-inner, and daddy!
So yes, Derrick wears many hats, and I have to say, I love every one of them!

Kelli

I am a middle aged stay at home mommy to five kids. I rarely get out, and I don't always manage to get a shower in every day. I cook, I clean, I sew (well, not really, but I wish I could sew!), I tutor, I clean some more...and I love my life! I am a wife, a new mommy, and an old mommy, a wannabe runner, a friend, a neighbor, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a food network junkie, a inventor (of recipes, since I can't stand to follow a recipe as given), a hiker, a taxi driver, a librarian (my new calling in church...are you jealous???), and a really great sports spectator!
My goal over the next year is to try and be 'happier' on the outside while I'm with my kids. I'm always happy inside, but don't tend to show it as often as I should. Also, I hope to be able to give in service to those around me as much as they have done for me! I am so thankful to know that I am a daughter of God, and that he not only loves me but is totally aware of my trials and my weaknesses. I truly believe that he has surrounded me with special people to help me through those trials and to help me become better! How cool is that???

Skyler

Skyler has a whole variety of hats, and it's hard to know from day to day which ones he'll pull out! I guess that's all part of being a teenager! Skyler is a big brother, a babysitter, a son, a priesthood holder, a scout, a basketball player, a friend, a football player, an excellent student, a reader, an artist, a musician, a help (when he wants to be), a tease, and a future (and current) missionary! I appreciate Skyler's committment to the gospel and to living the gospel standards. I know that sometimes, we butt heads, but I have never ever been worried about him not honoring his gospel standards and covenants! What a great example to the younger brothers and sister!

Zacary

Zac is so often my life preserver! On days when I feel like I'm drowning, he is able sense that and jumps right in to save me! I often refer to him as our 'resident chef', since he absolutely LOVES to cook! He can follow a recipe pretty well, but he can also 'taste cook' (a boy after my own heart). Zac also wears many hats...soccer player (almost any position), student, resident chef, babysitter, big brother, cousin, scout, maid (really, the kid can clean...when he wants to!), missionary in training, manual laborer (loves to work on house and yard projects), and friend! I love Zac and so much appreciate his awareness in knowing when to jump in and help out!

Tannon

Tannon may be a skinny little thing, but his heart is HUGE! Tannon is a big brother (a fact of which he's very very proud), a son, a friend, a soccer player, a tease, a wrestler (just as home with Derrick), a student, a reader, a cub scout, a future missionary, an example, a food critic (since he doesn't like much of anything!), and a very tender hearted little boy! I love Tannon, and I think that his quiet, peaceful nature brings a smile to my face and makes his Heavenly Father very happy! I really and truly hope that we can instill in Tannon, exactly how special and amazing he is!

Myah

Myah is the cream on top of the Swaner family sundae! We are all just crazy about the only girl in the family! Myah's hats...big sister, little sister, daughter, friend, social butterfly, artist, student (preschool!), dancer, singer, comedian, peacemaker, and helper! If I can teach her one thing that she will never ever forget, it is that she is a daughter of God, and that alone makes her so incredibly special! She often says, 'I am a princess, because my Father in Heaven is a king!' I hope that she remembers that always!

Desmond

Little Des, is a true blessing in our family! He is the cherry on top of our Swaner family sundae. I never knew I wanted a cherry on top, but once he joined our family, I can no longer picture it any other way! Just when I thought we were moving along to the next 'stage' in life, there was a quick little u-turn along our path, and just about 10 months later...here we are with a new sweet spirit in our family.
So Des's hats...a little brother, a son, a sweet little spirit, a peacemaker (and he doesn't even know it), and a HUGE blessing!
Desmond joined us on August 18th, 2008 in Blackfoot, Idaho. He was born via planned c-section, and the whole process was an answer to many prayers! We are very thankful for our newest addition!